Loneliness v. Solitude

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It is important that we do not conflate loneliness and solitude; while the former connotes a sense of yearning and discontent, the latter describes a much-needed time of introspection and recombobulation. 

A good communitarian will strike a healthy balance between extroversion and self-reflection. Without ample time to engage in solitude, we deprive ourselves of essential cognitive development. Before we express our outward-facing selves to others in the realm of civil society, we must first work to better understand and enhance our inner-beings. While the practice of solitude may seem simplistic, it can actually be quite arduous, requiring the self to, at times, drift into boredom and embrace that boredom as a naturally-occurring and integral component of being happily alone. 

Sherry Turkle - in her important book, Reclaiming Conversation - writes that, "children can't develop the capacity for solitude if they don't have the experience of being 'bored' and then tuning within rather than to a screen." 

Today, though, many of us are incapable of embracing boredom. We are ensconced in a perpetual state of sensory stimulation. By fidgeting and turning to our phones when we feel boredom creeping up on us, we shirk a feeling that may be, at least initially, uncomfortable. 

We must force ourselves to sit still. 

By sitting still, without the aid of our iPhones, we can activate our creative minds. Conversely, when we watch mindless Instagram Reels - which, in full transparency, I've been known to do for extended periods - we put our minds to sleep. In small doses, this is harmless; in large doses; it will surely retard our social selves. 

You'll notice that none of this connotes loneliness, but rather, contentment with time alone. While loneliness is something we've all felt, it is an unproductive state of being. When we are lonely, we seize to be in the moment and, instead, hyperfocus on what is, at least temporarily, unattainable. We yearn for what we don't have: company and companionship. 

The distinction between loneliness and solitude is an important one, but we've all experienced both. 

Please tell me: What are some of your solitary activities? 

Comments

  1. AnonymousSeptember 9, 2024 at 8:46 AM

    Petrarch, who helped usher in the modern world, referred to his books as “companions” and travelled throughout Europe with them. He preferred their company to those of people because these old, bulky, tomes were filled with knowledge and not fussy and annoying. He would often read (and write!) on horseback, between towns: why wast time? His favorite thing to do was to retreat to Vaulcus, an isolated getaway in the south of France with his “companions” and occasionally invite a friend and commune with Cicero, Seneca, or St. Augustine.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousSeptember 9, 2024 at 8:54 AM

    Listening to Sibelius (Finlandia and Tapiola).. and rummaging through the calamitous 14th century with Petrarch as my guide.

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousSeptember 9, 2024 at 12:55 PM

    Thank you Frank, a Thoughtful commentary and a valid reminder that the mind needs nourishment from within.
    To continue the conversation from the first comment, I have been to Vaucluse in France and it is indeed a place for reflection. I hope to go back one day. Also, I am curious as to hPetrarch's knowledge of Aquinas. They were so close together in age. ANYONE?

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